The man just down the hall

Many years ago a vocal artist sang a song about the man living just down the hall and how she barely knew him. She was singing about her father. When I hear this song I have so many emotions. I feel so blessed because I knew and still know my father. He was there while I grew up both in presence and in spirit. He was part of my life and still is. He made time for the 5 of us children whether it was allowing us to walk his mail route with him or playing with us at the beach or taking us to the movies. He was there. The man this song brings to mind is my grandfather.
My Grampa Beebe was also a big part of my life. He was quiet... often reading his paper when we would visit. He had a big smile and bright eyes that shone with a sparkle when we were around. He and Gramma attended the concerts and plays that we kids would have at school and when I was a young teen, he began attending the church where Dad took us. I can remember the Christmas that we received gifts Grampa made for us. I received a set of white bunk beds for my dolls. Grampa had made them and Gramma made the mattresses and little quilts to go on them. I still have them 35 years later. Erinne received a cradle for her dolls... also painted white and containing a mattress and quilt from Gramma. Tim's gift that year was a red wooden wheelbarrow. Grampa was a caller for square dances and I remember times when music was playing and he would dance in the living room and try to teach us children to follow his calls. What a blessing to have this good man in my life.
Often when I hear Reba singing "Man just down the Hall" I think of my Grampa and how it seemed I barely knew him. He was taken from us far too soon. I was 17 when he passed away. I wish he could have seen me graduate and get married and have kids. I know that he would have enjoyed the children my siblings and cousins and I have had. I know he is up in heaven and looking down towards earth sometimes. I know he chuckles and his eyes are bright with laughter at the antics that come up in our lives sometimes. And I know that he is aware how much we loved him!

Being Thankful

In these days of recession and job cutbacks you would think that I would be glad to just have a job. I am thankful for that. I remind myself of the fact each time I feel super stressed or when I come home in tears for the umpteenth time since starting this job over 9 years ago.

I like what I do.... I like dealing with the challenges and getting out of the house and being around people. What I don't like is being yelled at or expected to do the work of 5 people. I don't like having to do the same thing every day five or six times over because either someone didn't listen the first time or else it wasn't handled properly to begin with. I don't like the stresses of trying to get everything done in an eight hour day or not getting calls back when I leave messages.

There are times when I think I would take any other job out there if only I could leave what I have. Then I think again..... I have worked in McDonalds. I don't like that at all. I have worked doing retail. I could do that again if I had to but really like having a desk job. I have been a waitress. I am too old to do that again at this point in life. I think that job is something that is meant to be done by the young. I have been a baby sitter.... I don't think I would have the patience to do it anymore unless it was for very young childer and no one could afford to pay me to do it anymore. At 41 years old I dont' think there are many jobs out there for me. I don't think many places would hire me on to learn to do what many teens are willing to learn for minimum wage and no benefits.

I am thankful to have a job.... I keep reminding myself of that. Besides I really don't want to be the person that needs to clean up behind the elephants at the circus.... what a mess that is. I will deal with the mess I have already thanks!