The past and the future

The past year has been an eventful one. There have been losses and gains not just in money but in friends. Family has been touched with sorrow and joy. Each year brings its own hardships. I look forward to the newness of the coming year and welcome it. I know that it will bring its own memories, things to mourn and things to rejoice in.

date night

Tonight is date night. My teenagers got movie passes from their aunts for Christmas so are taking their respective dating partners to a movie tonight. That means actually that I am doing the driving. Since that is happening and the movie theater is about 30 minutes or so from home, my husband and I are going out to dinner while the teens are at the movies. I am looking forward to some time reconnecting with this hardworking man that I married 20 plus years ago.

Thoughts of Christmas

Christmas is a special time of year for so many people. I have been reading posts that others write about visiting and decorating and what the different things mean to them. It made me decide to write a little of it myself. I had a friend ask on Facebook recently about what year you would go back to if you could pick any year to go back for Christmas. It too made me think.

I don't know if I could pick just one Christmas to return to. There are many that stand out in my mind. I remember that year that we woke up as children to find Gabriel our lab/setter puppy. He was black with a white spot on his belly and he sure did love us kids even if he was more my brother's dog than us girls. Or the year I was in Norway and my host family and I were snowed in. We opened our gifts on Christmas Eve because my youngest host sister was born on Christmas and they wanted her day to be special, so the tradition for them was to celebrate Christmas the day before and give her a good birthday.

I remember the year my daughter was two and my son was one. He took his first steps that morning in his great grandparents living room. He walked across the width of the living room from the couch to the chair so he could be with his Great pap. I think I wanted to cry.

The year when my daughter was 5 was a hard one for  us. We had been in Georgia a short time and it was the first year we weren't with extended family. We didn't have much money and didn't know how we were going to give the kids anything. My husband's work helped provide the little we were going to be able to give them. Someone adopted us.... actually several someones adopted us and the kids had a great year.

A few years later we ran into problems again. I think that year really stands out in my mind because the woman that chose to be Special Santa for my children asked if there were only one thing they could have for Christmas what would it be. I asked them and they told me. A real looking doll baby for my daughter and a green power ranger for my son. The day she called to ask if she could bring the presents over will stand out especially. I thought it would be one or two presents for each of them. When she got there with her daughter they carried not one or two presents in but two large black garbage bags full of presents for each of them. I was amazed and kept telling her thank you and that she didn't have to do that. She said she hadn't done it all, that when her daughter found out what she was doing then her daughter wanted to do some too and then a neighbor and another friend wanted to do it as well. Before she left she handed me a gift card and told me to use it to buy Christmas dinner. My daughter got her real looking dolly and my son got his power ranger. That is the same year they got quilts from my grandmother that they both still use.

Not long after that Christmas, my daughter asked me if Santa was real. It almost broke my heart to realize she was growing up. I looked at her and asked what she thought. She said she just didnt' know. I told her that the man in the red suit and white beard didn't really exist anymore but that the spirit of him did, that each time someone helped another person or gave from their heart then that was what Santa wanted. She thanked me and took that to her heart. I explained it to my son the same way a year later.

Christmas isn't really about the presents although being able to give them to others is so nice. It isn't about Santa. It is about Christ and being with family in whatever way it works out. It is seeing the joy in a young child's face, the excitement of being together.

This time 18 years ago I was at the hospital in active labor. My first child was about to be born. My husband and I looked forward to the new life about to join us with great anticipation and some trepidation. We were young with no experience of raising a child on our own.

We were as prepared as we could be. The crib was set up as was the cradle for the baby to sleep in while in the living area of the house. The cloth diapers were folded and ready for use. The blanket I had made for the baby was just waiting for the little life that it would cover for warmth.

At 2:15 in the morning of the 4th of December, our daughter entered the world with a little cry. The nurses took her right away to be warmed and checked over. My husband went over to the little basinnet and looked at her. He came back to me with her in his arms and he said for her to meet her mommy. How precious was this life that God had entrusted us with. How great a responsibility was placed upon our shoulders to raise this baby to be a woman with values and goals, to be a contributing member of society. The task seemed enormous.

Now eighteen years later, she is an adult. She is a beautiful, gifted, giving, smart, couragous, ambitious woman. She has goals in life and knows what she needs to do to achieve those goals. She is loving and gentle and kind. She is understanding, God-fearing and God-loving.

We were blessed when God gave her to us and are so blessed that we have been her parents