Today I feel old!

Today a piece of my past came back into my life. It was a shock to realize that time didn't stay still. I have written before that I refuse to be old. I had it brought home to me that I indeed have gotten older.

When I was 14 I used to care for a trio of sisters. I believe that Marjorie was all of 5 and her sisters were 3 and 2 respectively. These girls were precious in my life. Marjorie was a blessing of helpfulness and caring. Vickie was the little cuddly one, and Melissa hated my guts. To be fair though,Melissa didn't really like anyone that wasn't her mama or daddy. Each day in the summer of my fourteenth year, I cared for these blond-haired, blue-eyed, bundles of energy. I would take them for walks down to the park and let them play. We would walk in the neighborhood and play ring around the rosie in the yard. We colored pictures to hang on the refrigerator for when their parents returned. It was a time of innocence and pleasure.

Later, as I travelled through my teenage years and these children grew, we attended the same church. Vickie wanted to sit with me most Sunday mornings during church service. To keep her occupied and quiet, I would have her copy Bible verses that I had already written out for her. She would do her best to copy the printed words out and do it neatly so that I would place a smile at the top of her page. Because Vickie would sit with me, Melissa came to trust me more. She would come and sit with me if Vickie was there too. She would copy verses as well. The greatest joy that came to me was the Sunday I walked into church and she came over and gave me a hug.

Marjorie loved being with me as well. She liked to tell me about school and what she had done. She would smile and talk as long as I would listen. She also would copy Bible verses that I had written out in script letters for her to practice. She would sit there with such concentration as she practiced those letters. Sometimes the letters were even, sometimes they were not but I think I got more out of watching her and her sisters copy those precious words than I got from the sermons our pastor had worked so hard on.

I got older and left my home town and my home church. I eventually went to college and met the man I would marry. I rarely went back to where I had started life, but would think of these little girls that had been a part of my growing up. When I thought of them though it was always as the cute and cuddly little girls that I had taken care of. I never brought them forward in my mind any further than Marjorie being 10 years old or so.

Today Marjorie found me on the computer. When I saw the name she goes by now, I almost refused the friendship request.... not realizing who it was. Instead, I took a chance and accepted, rationalizing that I could always delete it afterwards if it turned out to not be someone I actually knew. I went and looked and photographs she had posted. I still almost hit that delete button. I still didn't see the girl in the woman who looked out at me from the photo. The next photo I pulled up was of Marjorie with her daughters. There was something in her eyes that clicked and I looked closer. I saw Vicki in Marjorie's oldest daughter and Melissa in Marjorie's youngest. I saw the smile that Marjorie would give me each Sunday as I would stand and listen to her tell about her week.

"My" little girls are all grown now. Marjorie is married with two young girls of her own. I am looking forward to finding out what is going on in the lives of her and her sisters. I am so glad she asked me to be her friend. Life it turning still and moving forward.... but heavens I feel old today.