If you can't say something nice.....

I was recently reading some posts online about one of my favorite teachers. Someone decided to ask a question and spread some gossip she'd heard. I refuted the message but it made me think again of what my mother had taught me growing up. "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." Maybe what that woman said was true, but to what purpose was it to say it? This teacher passed away and is not around to dispute what was said about him. It makes me sad that someone felt the need to say something that could have ruined the reputation of a good man. I wish she had held her tongue and lived by that simple rule taught to me.

Piecing a Quilt

After learning to stitch on a "cheaters quilt" I was even more desirous of learning to make an actual quilt. For a time between high school and college, I lived with my maternal grandmother. Gram was alwasy making something with fabric or yarn or lace thread. Once again I brought up my wish to learn to make a quilt.

Gram took me into her craft room and let me dig through her fabric scraps. We had decided to make a simple quilt for my first one. It would be made of three inch squares for fabric sewing four of them into a larger square. Each of the larger squares would have two solid and two printed squares.

I wasn't going to make a quilt with a set color pallet. I wanted to use an assortment of colors. Gram's scrapbag was the perfect place to start. Some of the scraps were just big enough to get 2 four inch squares from, some were big enough I could take all the squares I could want.

I ironed the material I selected and took them to the living room to draw my quilt pattern on. It was tedious to draw the patern and cut out the squares, but then I got to sew. I hand sewed the squares together in the four square larger piece, then the piece was set aside as I started my next four square larger piece. Finally I deemed I had enough of the four square pieces to begin to lay out my quilt.

Gram and I pushed the foot stools away and got on our hands and knees to lay them all out. Once we had everything laid out, we stood and looked at what was laid before us. After a few tweeks and shifts the colors were laid out the way I thought looked best. I sewed all the larger squares together and finished the top of my first quilt. Sad to say 20 plus years later, that quilt remains just a top.

learning to quilt

By the time I was a teenager, I had learned to hand sew, to crochet and to embroider. My mother and my grandmother both created quilts during that time and one Saturday, I begged my mother to teach me to quilt. My mother had a different idea. She brought me a printed panel, batting and a piece of material for the back. She stated that when I could make the stitches on the front and back match then I would know how to quilt.

I put the three pieces together and placed them in an embroidery hoop to keep it taught. I began to stitch around the printed picture, but no matter how much I tried I could not get my stitches on the back to match the smooth, small, even stitches on the front. I decided not to pull them out but to make a quilted pillow out of the panel instead. With that in mind, it didn't matter if the stitches didn't match up.

I worked diligently on that square. As I got near the end, I burst into tears. All my hard work and I couldn't finish it without putting a major crease in it. In order to do the pillow I wanted to make, I was forced to pull all my stitches and begin again. My mother patiently explained to me that I needed to begin stitching from the center outward instead of from a corner. And so, I began again.

Over time I made many "cheaters quilts" as I called them. I learned that if I kept the materiel out of a frame or hoop and just pinned my corners and parts of the centers, I could get my stitches even on front and back. Because of the pillows I made, I also learned how to hide the closing when they were stuffed. This helped me when I made an actual quilt and was putting a border on it.

While I didn't understand that initial idea of giving me a printed panel to sew at first, my mother knew the stitching wouldn't be the only lesson I learned. Patience and quality control were in the lesson plan as well.

violins and girlscouts

When I was in junior high I insisted on learning to play the violin. I wasn't good at it at all and I pity my poor family having to listen to me practice that thing. I squeeked and sawed my way through practice and lessons. I lugged the violin with me to school at least once a week. They came to my concerts at school and even when I hated it because of a change in teachers I kept at it. I didn't want to be a quitter and kept hoping it would get better.
On the days that I carried that violin on the bus to go to school, I also had girl scouts. After school I would carry it and walk to my girl scout meetings. We had a fairly large troop and met at our leaders home. I remember wearing my green uniform to school and carrying that violin case. What a sight I must have made.
While I don't recall much of what I did in scouts other than the camping trips, I do remember carrying that case and that I looked forward to those days for one especially good reason. When scout meetings were done for the day, I got to walk up to my Aunt Sissy's house to wait for my father to pick me up.
Aunt Sissy was my grandmother's sister. She was a favorite of mine. She lived in this cute little house that was big enough for her and my cousin Butch. Butch was Aunt Nita's son but he lived with Aunt Sissy when I was in my preteens. Anyway, I would come in and Aunt Sissy would ask about my day. Her dog Mimi would be barking and growling at me and I would talk about what had happened that day as I was sitting at the table drinking a glass of water or tea.
Sometimes I would get to stay for dinner at Aunt Sissy's and she or Butch would bring me home afterwards. I don't recall much what we would have for dinner although I do know that I got to help make the tossed salad. Aunt Sissy taught me to make radish rosettes to put in the salad. I didn't really like the peppery taste of radishes but the fact that I got to make something pretty out of them was such fun.
Aunt Sissy always seemed to enjoy my company. I loved going to her little house and being there with her. It was quiet there and I got attention that I didn't have to share with any of my siblings.
I wish that my children had been able to meet and know her in person. Instead they know her through my memories and the things I treasure about her.

Buttons and newsprint

When I was a little girl, almost every day we would go to see my Gram and Grampa Beebe. Some days while there we kids would play outside. There was a big yard to play in and a boy my brothers age that lived next door.

Other days we would play in the house while Mom spoke with Gram. Sometimes we would watch television which was more fun than at our home because Gram had 13 channels instead of our one. Other times I remember playing with Gram's button can.

Gram had a coffee can full of all different types of buttons. I never did know where they all came from but it was so much fun to get to take a large handfull of buttons from the can and see how many of each kind I had in that handful. Sometimes I got to use a needle and thread and string the like buttons together. I think some of my favorite buttons in the can were the kind that looked almost like black berries with their ridges and bumps and roundness.

At other times we were allowed to get paper and draw pictures. Gram had a large roll of paper like would be used to make newspapers. I am not sure at all where she got this but it was one of the favorites for use at her house. Sometimes it was just a small bit we would tear or cut off and then use one of the thin hard lap boards to lean against while we drew. Gram had crayons and colored pencils for us to use on these papers. I can't say that I remember any of the small pictures that we drew but I do remember sometimes taking a peice of paper big enough to trace around a small body. Sometimes I would be the one traced but others times it was my youngest sister. Then we would draw our faces and clothes onto the traced body.

I wish I knew whatever became of the button cans or the newspaper pictures that we drew. I just know that it was fun for my brother, sisters and I to be able to play with these items whenever we went to Gram's house.

Good Spirits

Things have been rough and a roller coaster ride of emotions over the last several weeks. My father in law had to have surgery which removed his left foot at mid calf level. My husband left to go up to help take care of everyone up there in whatever way he could be supportive. I am happy that he was able to leave and go up there. I was sad to have this going on with my father in law but knew that my husband would be a good tonic for his spirits. Little did I expect that my father in law would be the one cheering everyone else. Apparently when he decided that the doctor was right and the foot had to go, he was at peace about it. He is working hard towards healing and getting mobility back. I got a call from my husband this morning and found out it will probably be another week before he comes back to me and the kids but I fully understand and support that decision.
Today my hubby is watching his sister's babies. H is 2 and is potty training. J is 6 months old and scooting around. He is watching them so his sister can visit with his father and then when she returns he will go up and spend time with his dad. I am glad that not only is he able to be there for his father but also for the rest of the family.

I can do all things.......

I can do all things through Christ who stregnthens me. ( Phillipeans 4:13)

Sometimes it is hard to remember that as a human I am not able to do it all. I can't fix everything the way I want. I am not able to make someone happy or to make the world do what it ought to. Sometimes it is about just giving it all up and giving it all to God. He is almighty and all powerful. He knows what is needed and what is just a want. He has a greater design in mind than what I can see with my failing eyes.

It isn't easy to admit that I am not able to do it all. It feels like a failure to me to not be able to reach in my pocket and just provide what I want to for my children. I hate going out and seeking help when it is needed. But I do what I must and that is where the verse above comes into play. I can do what I needs to be done because God gives me the ability to see past my wants and desires and shyness and lets me do what what I need to. He helps me to give the push that is needed as well as the words to say.