The past and the future

The past year has been an eventful one. There have been losses and gains not just in money but in friends. Family has been touched with sorrow and joy. Each year brings its own hardships. I look forward to the newness of the coming year and welcome it. I know that it will bring its own memories, things to mourn and things to rejoice in.

date night

Tonight is date night. My teenagers got movie passes from their aunts for Christmas so are taking their respective dating partners to a movie tonight. That means actually that I am doing the driving. Since that is happening and the movie theater is about 30 minutes or so from home, my husband and I are going out to dinner while the teens are at the movies. I am looking forward to some time reconnecting with this hardworking man that I married 20 plus years ago.

Thoughts of Christmas

Christmas is a special time of year for so many people. I have been reading posts that others write about visiting and decorating and what the different things mean to them. It made me decide to write a little of it myself. I had a friend ask on Facebook recently about what year you would go back to if you could pick any year to go back for Christmas. It too made me think.

I don't know if I could pick just one Christmas to return to. There are many that stand out in my mind. I remember that year that we woke up as children to find Gabriel our lab/setter puppy. He was black with a white spot on his belly and he sure did love us kids even if he was more my brother's dog than us girls. Or the year I was in Norway and my host family and I were snowed in. We opened our gifts on Christmas Eve because my youngest host sister was born on Christmas and they wanted her day to be special, so the tradition for them was to celebrate Christmas the day before and give her a good birthday.

I remember the year my daughter was two and my son was one. He took his first steps that morning in his great grandparents living room. He walked across the width of the living room from the couch to the chair so he could be with his Great pap. I think I wanted to cry.

The year when my daughter was 5 was a hard one for  us. We had been in Georgia a short time and it was the first year we weren't with extended family. We didn't have much money and didn't know how we were going to give the kids anything. My husband's work helped provide the little we were going to be able to give them. Someone adopted us.... actually several someones adopted us and the kids had a great year.

A few years later we ran into problems again. I think that year really stands out in my mind because the woman that chose to be Special Santa for my children asked if there were only one thing they could have for Christmas what would it be. I asked them and they told me. A real looking doll baby for my daughter and a green power ranger for my son. The day she called to ask if she could bring the presents over will stand out especially. I thought it would be one or two presents for each of them. When she got there with her daughter they carried not one or two presents in but two large black garbage bags full of presents for each of them. I was amazed and kept telling her thank you and that she didn't have to do that. She said she hadn't done it all, that when her daughter found out what she was doing then her daughter wanted to do some too and then a neighbor and another friend wanted to do it as well. Before she left she handed me a gift card and told me to use it to buy Christmas dinner. My daughter got her real looking dolly and my son got his power ranger. That is the same year they got quilts from my grandmother that they both still use.

Not long after that Christmas, my daughter asked me if Santa was real. It almost broke my heart to realize she was growing up. I looked at her and asked what she thought. She said she just didnt' know. I told her that the man in the red suit and white beard didn't really exist anymore but that the spirit of him did, that each time someone helped another person or gave from their heart then that was what Santa wanted. She thanked me and took that to her heart. I explained it to my son the same way a year later.

Christmas isn't really about the presents although being able to give them to others is so nice. It isn't about Santa. It is about Christ and being with family in whatever way it works out. It is seeing the joy in a young child's face, the excitement of being together.

This time 18 years ago I was at the hospital in active labor. My first child was about to be born. My husband and I looked forward to the new life about to join us with great anticipation and some trepidation. We were young with no experience of raising a child on our own.

We were as prepared as we could be. The crib was set up as was the cradle for the baby to sleep in while in the living area of the house. The cloth diapers were folded and ready for use. The blanket I had made for the baby was just waiting for the little life that it would cover for warmth.

At 2:15 in the morning of the 4th of December, our daughter entered the world with a little cry. The nurses took her right away to be warmed and checked over. My husband went over to the little basinnet and looked at her. He came back to me with her in his arms and he said for her to meet her mommy. How precious was this life that God had entrusted us with. How great a responsibility was placed upon our shoulders to raise this baby to be a woman with values and goals, to be a contributing member of society. The task seemed enormous.

Now eighteen years later, she is an adult. She is a beautiful, gifted, giving, smart, couragous, ambitious woman. She has goals in life and knows what she needs to do to achieve those goals. She is loving and gentle and kind. She is understanding, God-fearing and God-loving.

We were blessed when God gave her to us and are so blessed that we have been her parents

Celtic Woman

Over the years while watching PBS we have enjoyed the concerts of Celtic Woman that were broadcast. My husband had become a fan on their webpage and kept asking me to get him tickets for the shows that were at the Atlanta Fox Theatre. I unfortunately kept having to turn him down as tickets were so expensive.
This year, just before his birthday, he was at the website for Celtic Woman and all of a sudden let out a yell. They were again coming to the Fox Theatre but this time were filming their new video and tickets were to be $30 to $55 each. I told him I would order them the day they went on sale! I got four tickets since I knew that our almost 18 year old daughter would shoot us if we were to go without her and since she was going so was the son whether he wanted to or not. (turns out he did really want to go even though I didn't know he liked their music).
For a month now, we have been waiting for the show. My husband and I took the day off after the concert just to be sure that we weren't going in exhausted. The kids still had to go to school the next day regardless of the time we go home. Excitement was in the air as the day go closer.
Yesterday was the openning night for the two-day show which was being taped for the first video they have done in America. It was the night for us to attend. I stayed home that day as well and spent the day relaxing and getting myself ready for an evening in Atlanta. I picked the kids up from school about 15 minutes before the final bell and we drove to get my husband at work. He drove us down to Atlanta and we drove around Peachtree Street trying to find the theatre and then finding a parking lot that was close but reasonable in pricing. We were in line by 6 p.m. and excited as could be.
As we go to the door to have out tickets scanned, the usher informed us that we were going to have to go back to the ticket booth as there was an issue with our tickets. I was very upset since I knew that I had paid for them through ticketmaster and that they were valid tickets. I couldn't imagine what was going on but we wended our way through the crowd trying to get to the doors as we made our way back to the ticket booth. My son said "maybe they upgraded our seats" and I scoffed at him. After waiting at the booth for several minutes they came back and handed us new tickets explaining they had had to relocate us due to the taping. Our son was right... they were upgraded. The upgrade wasn't by much but it was an upgrade. Our original seats were on the right side in orchestra seating and we were to have been against the wall, our new seats were on the left side in orchestra seating, three rows closer to the stage and against center aisle! We had a good view of the stage and didn't have too many people in our way due to the boom camera that was set up off to our left and slightly in front. It wasn't in our way at all but it did keep people from being able to sit there.
Finally we were ready for the show to start..... Mairead came on the stage and the crowd went wild. She played her fiddle and danced about the stage as Chloe and the two Lisas joined her in song. It was an incredible start to the show and just fascinating to watch and hear in person. Tears sprang to my eyes as I was not able to believe I was actually there and getting to see this. There were many standing ovations throughout the evening as the women sang and the instumentalists played. There was even a spot where the crowd sang happy birthday to the drummer of the group. Costumes were amazing as well as the music. Bagpipers played along on several of the songs as well as a penny whistle and the bodran being played. I was in heaven. ( I honestly believe the haunting tones of the bagpipe will be played in heaven along with the harps and penny whistles and spoons and drums. How can they not be when they move my soul so much.)  The Gwinnett Childrens Choir came on stage a few times to participate in the backup for the women. It was enjoyable to watch the women interact with the children. Mairead played and danced to her fiddle and the clogging man came out and danced along with her. It brought whoots from the crowd as my feet tapped and danced along with the music. (I am a fantastic jigger when my bottom is in a chair)
The show came to an end and we made our way out the side doors of the building and headed for our car talking about what we had seen. As we waited for the crosswalk to head to our car, our son caused several in the crowd to chuckle as he said " I liked the dancer, He is my favorite Celtic Woman"  He was being silly but I knew what he meant. He really liked the energy that buzzed when the dancer came out on stage.
I know this is a night that none of us will forget and we look forward to watching the video time and again. I know we will be buying it the minute it goes on sale as well as watching it on PBA30 on December 3 when it airs on tv for the first time. The first time we watch it we will again be transported back to the Fox Theatre and watching the live taping of the video as well as looking for ourselves in the crowd!

Updates on Lifes twists and turns

I wrote about a month ago about the concerns I was having with my father being in the hospital as I was heading even further away from him on a trip with my family to see my father in law.

God has truly answered many prayers regarding my father. Daddy is doing much better and I have been in touch with him via phone about once a week and he states he is doing really well. His weight is down as well as an assortment of ailments are being helped by that simple fact.

In the night as we slept before leaving PA to return to our home, lightning struck my mother in law's chicken coop. She had to file an insurance claim and is in the process of getting the coop fixed. I am glad and thankful that it wasn't the house.

We returned to our home in good time and were able to sleep well in our beds that night.

Shortly after returning home we got news that our daughter was accepted for the summer independant study course she would need in order to get the credit for the physics class that she had not passed during the regular school year. She had 12 days to do the coursework and was finished with it in 6. I am proud of her for the hard work and perseverence she had with this class. She tried her best and she just wasn't able to pass the class during the regular school year. I believe it is how it was taught and not through her failings since there were at least nine other students that had to take this summer course as well.

Anyway, we have one month left of summer before my teens go back to high school. My daughter is a senior this year and my son is a junior. That means aptitude tests for college as well as college applications and visits this year. We are also planning a trip to see my dad in October as well as a trip to camp over labor day weekend. I look forward to the times we still get to spend with our children as they are growing up.

Tell your problems how big your God is.

Instead of telling God how big your problems are, start telling your problems how big your God is. A friend of mine posted that as her status on facebook earlier in the week. I promptly decided that is what I need to do. I tend to get overwhelmed with the worries and concerns of life. It doesn't mean that I don't trust God or that I don't know that HE can take care of them all. I just sometimes give them to Him and try to take them back again instead of leaving them with Him.
Since reading my friend's status, I have told each of the problems that come my way that God is big enough to handle them even if I am not and that I know He will give me that peace and grace and ability to get past each and every one of them.
I have still been praying over them and trusting God to take them on His shoulders instead of me lugging them around everywhere. It isn't easy to not try to take them back, I have been doing it for so long. But I am really making an effort to let them go.
I wrote this wonderful piece of advice down and attached it to my computer monitor at work where I see it every day. It is a fantastic reminder that God is bigger than anything I might encounter. With that reminder I am calmer and more focussed. I am able to let the annoyances go and be the person I want to be.

Life's twists and turns

This has been a week of ups and downs and twists and turns. We had plans for a trip to PA to see my inlaws and were to leave last Sunday. On the Friday before we were to leave, I got a call from my sister telling me that my father in FL was at the emergency room. She didn't have more information than that but would call me when she got more. Now I was concerned about his health again.I just didn't know what was going on and I was trying to work and get the stuff done there because regardless of if I was going to PA or to FL I was going to need to leave my desk in order.
One of my other sisters called and said they had admitted Dad into the hospital and she was on her way to FL to see him. Then the sister that first called said she was on her way to pack for her and my third sister and they were flying down to FL from NY. Now I was really really scared and crying all the harder as I was trying to get my work done. I had no way to reach my dad and didn't know even what hospital he was at.
I called my mother for some much needed advice as to whether she thought I should go to Florida or keep my plans for going to PA. She didn't tell me which way I should go. Just gave me some advice to wait and see what the day brought. She did however remind me that my little brother who had dad's phone would probably know what hospital he was at and then i could maybe call the hospital.
I called him back and got the hospital name and then called the hospital where I hoped to get some information from a floor nurse or something. I got put straight to my dad's room and actually got to talk to him. He told me that he didnt know anything at that point other than they were waiting for test results. He told me that he thought I should go to PA and spend time with my inlaws.
I talked to my kids and to my husband and it was decided that we would see what the next morning brought but the plan was to continue with our current plans.
The next morning I spoke with my sisters who encouraged me to continue with the current plan and to not go to FL. They were there and if I was needed they would let me know for sure. So I did the necessary oil change in the car and the shopping that needed to be done and the trip to the dog sitter who would be coming in so I could give final instructions. I got the packing done and the car cleaned up and proceded to wait for Sunday.
Sunday morning dawned bright and clear and was a good day for a road trip. We loaded up the car with kids, luggage and cooler and headed north. While on the trip I placed a call to my father who again told me he was doing better but didn't know results of the tests. He again encouraged us to enjoy our trip.
Each day of this past week I have called the hospital and checked in with my dad or with my sister. Today he is being released. My emotions have been on a bit of a roller coaster as i have been concerned for Dad's health as well as tried to enjoy this time with my inlaws.
My father in law had a major surgery two month ago and this was the first time my kids and i were seeing him since that had happened. We were uncertain how independant he might still be able to be and I know i was concerned about his spirits. I should have known better. He has such an abiding faith that God has a purpose for everything and that there is a reason that God allows him to go through the difficult times and health issues.
On Tuesday my husband took his parents up to Hershey hospital for a followup on his dad's surgery. They were given the news that he is healing well and is ready for his preliminary prostetic leg. We are so thankful that this is already in the works as we thought it would be at least another month. It will give my father in law more freedom and indepence of movement again.
He has enjoyed this visit a great deal in that he has been able to spend time with his son and grandchildren as well as being able to get some of the jobs done around here that he hasn't been able to do on his own.
Life is a journey that we all must travel and we never know where it will lead or what twists there are in store for us. We must trust God to not let us stray too far from the path He wants us on.

Blessings

There are those that are claiming the world will end tomorrow. I am not mocking them by any means but I don't believe this will be the case. If the Lord returns tomorrow I know where I am going so I will just continue to live my life as I do now. I am going to do nothing special just because others say life is ending. I know that I am saved by Grace and will be living in Heaven with my Lord and family when the time comes for Him to call me home.
One of the other blessings that I will have, if the Lord calls me home tomorrow, is I won't have to clean my house. I hate house cleaning. Anyone that has entered my home over the years will be able to attest to that. I have plans to dun the house out tomorrow as today is the last day of school for my children and they will be able to help with the work. They don't really like to do it either but it is something that is needing to be done.

Joke and pondering

I heard a joke the other day that went like this:


A little girl walked up to her mother and asked her where she came from. Her mother responded that a long time ago God made Adam and Eve and that those two people had children and their children had children and so on and so forth all the way down to her. The little girl smiled and said ok and walked off. She then went to her father and asked the same question, her father told her that the monkeys from many years ago had evolved to be more man like until eventually they became man and that is where she came from. The little girl said ok and walked away. She went back to her mother and said that she was confused. That mom had said one thing and dad had said another. Her mother responded with a laugh, I can explain honey. I told you where my family came from and your father told you where his is from.


Now that joke made me laugh but it also made me think. I think it is important to have mutual beliefs and standards so that when your children ask you an important question like where they come from or if there is a God, that your answers match. If these children are already questioning something then it makes no sense for them to get more confused by asking their parents and getting differing answers. Maybe that is one of the reasons that God has stated "Be not unequally yoked".

Amazing sometimes what comes about when someone tells you a joke.

Twenty Years Ago

Twenty years ago I was getting ready to marry the man I believe God chose for me. We had dated for two and a half years prior to the day we'd chosen to marry. We'd been through scares that our pastor might not be in the country to marry us. He was in the reserves and Desert Storm was going on. We'd changed the date to move it forward a week because my father had a trip planned to Ireland the day we had originally planned to get married. I had two bridesmaids that I had to replace due to an illness for one and plans for school for another. I had changed my mind about the wedding dress I had originally put on layaway and was going to wear a different one. We had been through premarital counselling that our pastor required. He asked some hard questions during it and gave some really good advice. I think those sessions are part of the reason that my husband and I stayed together for twenty years.
Excitement and nervousness ran through me as we got ready to embark on a new adventure. I wasn't only getting married but moving to PA to live. I was about to forever leave behind being a child and becoming a wife.
In the past twenty years we have had our ups and downs, joy and sorrow, plenty and want. It hasn't always been an easy twenty years but we have been through them together. We have grown up together as well as growing older. We have been blessed with two children who are not that far from embarking on their own adventure to adulthood. When they leave we will be alone together once more. It will be another segment on this journey we call our marriage. I look forward to at least 20 more years with him.

words

Better to keep your silence and have someone think you a fool than to open your mouth and prove you are one.

I have been thinking about that some today. I know that words have the ability to cause joy as well as pain. Sometimes what is said hurts someone so much. I would rather keep my mouth shut than have something I have said cause someone to be upset.

Communication is a key in relationships of all sorts. Keeping quiet isn't always the easiest or best thing to do. However it is also important to know when to speak and how to speak. The tone is as important as the words spoken.

Sometimes I talk too much. I know it. I think sometimes I am doing it so that my brain doesn't have the chance to worry about items that I am concerned about. If I keep talking about nonsensical or non important items then my brain is busy with that and doesn't have time to think about the items that are really concerning me. It is my sanity at stake sometimes when I seem to babble.

When I am quiet, no one knows what is going on in my head. Sometimes that is better too.

trying to get healthy

I have decided after seeing pictures of myself at Easter, that I really don't like how I look. I have decided to do something about it again. I have tried numerous times to lose weight and it isn't an easy process but this time I am going to try again. There are people in my family that find it easy to lose weight and others that don't. I think mostly for me it will be a matter of keeping track of my calories taken in as well as the ones I burn. It is hard to do and I am amazed at the amount of calories in some of my favorite lunches. I think that a lot of lunches will come from home. I need to watch my portions again and cut back dramatically on the amount and times that I eat as well as getting my large behind out of the chair and doing some excersize.

I have a wii and the wii fit set up and just need to get started with it again. I think as well that if I could get up the gumption to walk I would find it much easier to shed the pounds.

Many years ago I walked off 45 lbs over the course of 10 months. Then again when I first moved to GA and we were without a car, I walked off that same 45lbs. I don't have a goal to be a tiny little thing that you can see my bones, but I do want to lose at least 50 lbs and more if my body will let me do it.

I need to resist the temptations of sweets and salts as those are what I crave many times. I will go back to drinking more water and let the tea alone. I need to eat more healthy foods and watch the way I cook them. It will not only help me but also my family.

Health issues in loved ones have led me to this decission as well as looking at the pictures of my large self. My last physical stated that despite my size my levels are normal. My doctor told me that I should lose weight but she couldn't point to anything that would force me to do it. I just really needed to get my own incentive again. If I can resist the temptations that are put in my path I know I can succeed.

Dating

Both my children are teenagers now and have been for some time. They are good kids who generally listen to the rules and structures that their father and I have put in place. They are both of an age to be dating.
My daughter has been dating the same young man for over two years now. My son just began dating a very nice young woman. My children get along well together... pretty much how siblings who are close in age will do I believe. Anyway, I am glad they get along well with each other and with the respective people the other is dating. It makes it easier for me because they can many times double date. I don't have to get one couple to one place and the other to another place. There aren't many things in the local area for teens to do for an outing that doesn't cost an arm and a leg anyhow.
One of the things that my kids do is to attend different get togethers with other teens that have paired off. It is something I like for them. It means they get to be with their respective dates but aren't alone. They get to have games and fun with others. The other night the four of them went to a get together that was supposed to be a movie night at a mutual friends house. Turned out that the kids played twister and mario cart and sat around talking all evening, but they all enjoyed their time together and it was a good way for everyone to get to know each other better.
I like this group dating idea more than individual dating I think. I don't think they have as much chance of temptation when they are with a group. I like that these kids all get along pretty well and take new comers into their group.
Proms and dances abound in the school and the kids attend them as well but the little Friday or Saturday night get togethers are more fun for them I think as they hang out and enjoy being together.

Easter

Easter is in just a few days. For me this year it means a trip with my teens to see my mother and grandmother. They live about 90 minutes away and you would think we would see each other more often then we do. Unfortunately there are many weekends now that the kids have things going on and I have to be the chauffeur.
I am looking forward to this Easter. It has been some time since we have been able to spend the night with Mom and not had a rushed trip for just the day. I always feel rushed when we go for just the day. I enjoy visiting with everyone and like having big family dinners but it is nice to have Mom's attention on me and my children as well.
Anyway, the plan is for us to go for Saturday and spend the night and visit through until Sunday afternoon. We are going to attend church with Mom and Papa and Gram. My daughter and I went to buy new dresses for the occassion and my son will wear a nice outfit as well.
Easter doesn't mean new clothes and candy in baskets though. I have been raised and have raised my children as well that this is a time of celebration of the fact that Jesus died for us and He didn't stay in the grave but rose again to ascend to Heaven where He is making a place for us. I look forward to the church service where we will gather with other believers and raise our voices in songs of celebration.

God's Peace

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you, My peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. This verse came to me this evening as I sat during a band concert at the high school. God gives us such peace if we only seek it from Him. It isn't something that we have to work for, it is freely given. It is something I can find in the stillness of my soul when I sit quietly and listen. I believe that God answers prayer. It isn't always in a showy manner. It isn't even always a prayer you know you are praying or that someone is praying for you. But prayers are answered. Recently we have been through a lot of health issues with my husband's father. I have asked for prayer for him and for our family from many sources. I have asked for peace and understanding in my soul. God has answered all the prayers. My father in law is still dealing with health issues but is on the road to the recovery that his body will allow. The rest of the family is prayerfully and quietly accepting the new order of things. It is going to take time for everything to be sorted out but I believe there is a more peacefull acceptance of the way things will need to be handled. I talked with a friend last night who informed me that he had been praying for my father in law as well as the rest of the family. I mentioned to him in passing something else that was weighing on my mind but not heavily. Today the item on my mind was answered. I hadn't even begun to pray earnestly about the issue but the silent wish in my heart was answered. I called my friend and asked if he had lifted that in prayer last night and he stated he had lifted it but not specifically. God answered it anyway. It relieved me to know that even when it isn't an earnest prayer, God knows the needs and wants in our lives and He answers appropriately. May you have peace and joy in your hearts and quietness in your minds, knowing that God cares for you as much as He cares for His Son.

God's Beauty

I believe that God gave us flowers and plants to remind of us the beauty in His world. He wants us to remember that there is always warmth after cold and spring follows winter. That there is a regrowth and joy after sorrow. I find all these things when I am working in the gardens I swore as a child that I would never have. Amazing how He changed my mind when I was able to see the beauty of His creation.

Family photos

It has been six years since we had professional family photos taken. The last time was as we were moving into the home we had just signed a mortgage for. My daughter was just entering junior high school and now she is a junior in high school. It doesn't seem possible that so much time has past. I have had photos taken of the kids and we did a family photo with my husbands family, but we hadn't done one of just the four of us in that long. Yesterday we made an appointment and went to Walmart for a family photo. We ended up having about 40 pictures taken. I was amazed and thrilled at the same time. We did so many different combonations of the four of us and it was so very nice. Many of them came out so well. I was thrilled with the ones that we were shown. I didn't like the ones of just me and I didn't like my smile but I really liked the pictures. As the photographer showed us the pictures and then showed us the cost of the different packages, I began to wonder if we could do what I wanted and take all the pictures home. She began with the most expensive package and I knew that we weren't going to purchase that. The next two packages were more in line with what I thought was a feasable cost. They were still expensive but we would get the copy rights to the photos so we could use them in any means we saw fit. One package gave us the copy right and a disk of all the photos plus 2 10x13 family photos and 20 other sheets in whatever combonation we might want. The other package gave us all the same as the one except for only giving us 10 sheets in whatever combonation we might want. I looked to my husband to see what he would want to do. I was ok with the smaller package since we would have the copy right and could make whatever copies we might want. He chose the middle package that gave us more professional pictures. He also added one other special photo to the package. I look forward to picking up these photos and passing them out to family. I am glad that I will be able to give my grandmother and Mike's grandmother the photos they love to display. It has been so long since they have had any individual photos of either of us let alone any that are family photos.

..... Don't say anything at all

To continue on the rant from earlier about not saying anything at all, I was reading a blog the other day by a very sweet lady who is educating others on her experiences of life growing up Amish. Apparently someone took it upon themselves to post a nasty comment anonymously. I didn't read the comment as it was removed prior to my reading the blog that day. It did however cause me some anger that someone decided to hide behind the computer and dish out something mean. When will people learn that just because we can't see them, doesn't mean that they aren't seen? God sees what is in our hearts and minds and He will be the final judge. Someday this mean person will have to stand before Him and account for the reasons behind their behavior. If only for their own sake they should have lived by the rule and not said anything at all.

If you can't say something nice.....

I was recently reading some posts online about one of my favorite teachers. Someone decided to ask a question and spread some gossip she'd heard. I refuted the message but it made me think again of what my mother had taught me growing up. "If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all." Maybe what that woman said was true, but to what purpose was it to say it? This teacher passed away and is not around to dispute what was said about him. It makes me sad that someone felt the need to say something that could have ruined the reputation of a good man. I wish she had held her tongue and lived by that simple rule taught to me.

Piecing a Quilt

After learning to stitch on a "cheaters quilt" I was even more desirous of learning to make an actual quilt. For a time between high school and college, I lived with my maternal grandmother. Gram was alwasy making something with fabric or yarn or lace thread. Once again I brought up my wish to learn to make a quilt.

Gram took me into her craft room and let me dig through her fabric scraps. We had decided to make a simple quilt for my first one. It would be made of three inch squares for fabric sewing four of them into a larger square. Each of the larger squares would have two solid and two printed squares.

I wasn't going to make a quilt with a set color pallet. I wanted to use an assortment of colors. Gram's scrapbag was the perfect place to start. Some of the scraps were just big enough to get 2 four inch squares from, some were big enough I could take all the squares I could want.

I ironed the material I selected and took them to the living room to draw my quilt pattern on. It was tedious to draw the patern and cut out the squares, but then I got to sew. I hand sewed the squares together in the four square larger piece, then the piece was set aside as I started my next four square larger piece. Finally I deemed I had enough of the four square pieces to begin to lay out my quilt.

Gram and I pushed the foot stools away and got on our hands and knees to lay them all out. Once we had everything laid out, we stood and looked at what was laid before us. After a few tweeks and shifts the colors were laid out the way I thought looked best. I sewed all the larger squares together and finished the top of my first quilt. Sad to say 20 plus years later, that quilt remains just a top.

learning to quilt

By the time I was a teenager, I had learned to hand sew, to crochet and to embroider. My mother and my grandmother both created quilts during that time and one Saturday, I begged my mother to teach me to quilt. My mother had a different idea. She brought me a printed panel, batting and a piece of material for the back. She stated that when I could make the stitches on the front and back match then I would know how to quilt.

I put the three pieces together and placed them in an embroidery hoop to keep it taught. I began to stitch around the printed picture, but no matter how much I tried I could not get my stitches on the back to match the smooth, small, even stitches on the front. I decided not to pull them out but to make a quilted pillow out of the panel instead. With that in mind, it didn't matter if the stitches didn't match up.

I worked diligently on that square. As I got near the end, I burst into tears. All my hard work and I couldn't finish it without putting a major crease in it. In order to do the pillow I wanted to make, I was forced to pull all my stitches and begin again. My mother patiently explained to me that I needed to begin stitching from the center outward instead of from a corner. And so, I began again.

Over time I made many "cheaters quilts" as I called them. I learned that if I kept the materiel out of a frame or hoop and just pinned my corners and parts of the centers, I could get my stitches even on front and back. Because of the pillows I made, I also learned how to hide the closing when they were stuffed. This helped me when I made an actual quilt and was putting a border on it.

While I didn't understand that initial idea of giving me a printed panel to sew at first, my mother knew the stitching wouldn't be the only lesson I learned. Patience and quality control were in the lesson plan as well.

violins and girlscouts

When I was in junior high I insisted on learning to play the violin. I wasn't good at it at all and I pity my poor family having to listen to me practice that thing. I squeeked and sawed my way through practice and lessons. I lugged the violin with me to school at least once a week. They came to my concerts at school and even when I hated it because of a change in teachers I kept at it. I didn't want to be a quitter and kept hoping it would get better.
On the days that I carried that violin on the bus to go to school, I also had girl scouts. After school I would carry it and walk to my girl scout meetings. We had a fairly large troop and met at our leaders home. I remember wearing my green uniform to school and carrying that violin case. What a sight I must have made.
While I don't recall much of what I did in scouts other than the camping trips, I do remember carrying that case and that I looked forward to those days for one especially good reason. When scout meetings were done for the day, I got to walk up to my Aunt Sissy's house to wait for my father to pick me up.
Aunt Sissy was my grandmother's sister. She was a favorite of mine. She lived in this cute little house that was big enough for her and my cousin Butch. Butch was Aunt Nita's son but he lived with Aunt Sissy when I was in my preteens. Anyway, I would come in and Aunt Sissy would ask about my day. Her dog Mimi would be barking and growling at me and I would talk about what had happened that day as I was sitting at the table drinking a glass of water or tea.
Sometimes I would get to stay for dinner at Aunt Sissy's and she or Butch would bring me home afterwards. I don't recall much what we would have for dinner although I do know that I got to help make the tossed salad. Aunt Sissy taught me to make radish rosettes to put in the salad. I didn't really like the peppery taste of radishes but the fact that I got to make something pretty out of them was such fun.
Aunt Sissy always seemed to enjoy my company. I loved going to her little house and being there with her. It was quiet there and I got attention that I didn't have to share with any of my siblings.
I wish that my children had been able to meet and know her in person. Instead they know her through my memories and the things I treasure about her.

Buttons and newsprint

When I was a little girl, almost every day we would go to see my Gram and Grampa Beebe. Some days while there we kids would play outside. There was a big yard to play in and a boy my brothers age that lived next door.

Other days we would play in the house while Mom spoke with Gram. Sometimes we would watch television which was more fun than at our home because Gram had 13 channels instead of our one. Other times I remember playing with Gram's button can.

Gram had a coffee can full of all different types of buttons. I never did know where they all came from but it was so much fun to get to take a large handfull of buttons from the can and see how many of each kind I had in that handful. Sometimes I got to use a needle and thread and string the like buttons together. I think some of my favorite buttons in the can were the kind that looked almost like black berries with their ridges and bumps and roundness.

At other times we were allowed to get paper and draw pictures. Gram had a large roll of paper like would be used to make newspapers. I am not sure at all where she got this but it was one of the favorites for use at her house. Sometimes it was just a small bit we would tear or cut off and then use one of the thin hard lap boards to lean against while we drew. Gram had crayons and colored pencils for us to use on these papers. I can't say that I remember any of the small pictures that we drew but I do remember sometimes taking a peice of paper big enough to trace around a small body. Sometimes I would be the one traced but others times it was my youngest sister. Then we would draw our faces and clothes onto the traced body.

I wish I knew whatever became of the button cans or the newspaper pictures that we drew. I just know that it was fun for my brother, sisters and I to be able to play with these items whenever we went to Gram's house.

Good Spirits

Things have been rough and a roller coaster ride of emotions over the last several weeks. My father in law had to have surgery which removed his left foot at mid calf level. My husband left to go up to help take care of everyone up there in whatever way he could be supportive. I am happy that he was able to leave and go up there. I was sad to have this going on with my father in law but knew that my husband would be a good tonic for his spirits. Little did I expect that my father in law would be the one cheering everyone else. Apparently when he decided that the doctor was right and the foot had to go, he was at peace about it. He is working hard towards healing and getting mobility back. I got a call from my husband this morning and found out it will probably be another week before he comes back to me and the kids but I fully understand and support that decision.
Today my hubby is watching his sister's babies. H is 2 and is potty training. J is 6 months old and scooting around. He is watching them so his sister can visit with his father and then when she returns he will go up and spend time with his dad. I am glad that not only is he able to be there for his father but also for the rest of the family.

I can do all things.......

I can do all things through Christ who stregnthens me. ( Phillipeans 4:13)

Sometimes it is hard to remember that as a human I am not able to do it all. I can't fix everything the way I want. I am not able to make someone happy or to make the world do what it ought to. Sometimes it is about just giving it all up and giving it all to God. He is almighty and all powerful. He knows what is needed and what is just a want. He has a greater design in mind than what I can see with my failing eyes.

It isn't easy to admit that I am not able to do it all. It feels like a failure to me to not be able to reach in my pocket and just provide what I want to for my children. I hate going out and seeking help when it is needed. But I do what I must and that is where the verse above comes into play. I can do what I needs to be done because God gives me the ability to see past my wants and desires and shyness and lets me do what what I need to. He helps me to give the push that is needed as well as the words to say.

The Eyes Have it

I have been blessed with three sisters by birth. Each of them is unique and special to me. However there is one thing they all share. They each have beautiful eyes. Each of my sisters has blue or hazel eyes. One sister has bright blue eyes that have such life and vitality in them. Another has hazel eyes that sparkle when she smiles. The third sister has grey blue eyes that hold mischief and mystery and change with her moods. There is a saying that the eyes are the window to the soul. I know the eyes reflect the soul and personality of each of my blessed sisters. I love them all.

So Proud

Last week my daughter went to the GA State Hosa Conference. The conference was from Thursday through Saturday and was a series of classes and competitions for students planning to enter the health care feild. My daughter and her partner were competing the the first aid/cpr competition.
Prior to dropping her off at school on Thursday her father and I both told her to go and have fun and not worry about the competition portion, we would be proud of her if she placed or if she didn't. We wanted her to enjoy herself and the opportunity of being around other like minded students with similar goals as she had. The conference would allow her to meet other students in the state that were pushing forward with those goals.
The two students had to take a written test on Thursday to find out if they would qualify to do practical competition on Friday. My daughter called me on Thursday night and told me that the written test grade was high enough to allow them to do practicals. Again, I reminded her to have fun and relax. I knew she would do well. I passed on the best wishes from the rest of the family and friends who had asked me to do so.
Friday evening she called and told me that she was done with practicals and didn't think they had done really well as their scenario was different than what they had been practicing but that their coach was proud of them anyway. I told her that her father and I were proud as well and that she should enjoy the rest of the conference and I would speak to her the next day.
Saturday morning I was on pins and needles through the morning as I waited for her phone call telling me how they had done on the practicals. She called to tell me that they were on their way home and that she and her partner had placed 3rd in the state for their competition. Their placement meant they were eligible to go to national level competition in California in June. I was over the moon with excitement for her. Not only had she done better than she thought they had done but they had placed high enough over other students in the state to be able to go forward.
She kept telling me that she didn't see how they could actually go to practicals though because it was so much money to send them and there is less than 3 months to come up with the money. I keep telling her to not worry about it. That if God wants her there the money will be there. We will find a way for her to go.
Tomorrow we will go out and try to gain sponsers for her and her partner to be able to go to California in June. It is not that far away and it will be a good opportunity for her to compete on a national level even if she doesn't place there. I am proud of my baby who is growing into the wonderful giving and caring and smart woman God would have her be. I know it is going to be a challenge to her to overcome some of the shyness she has and go compete. I know it will be a challenge for me to let her go and trust that she will be safe but this is part of letting my baby fly into adulthood.
My heart is still swelling with pride and I am going to do everything I can to help her go and to achieve her dreams.

Gardens

When I was a girl we lived on the eastern tip of Long Island in New York State. The yard around the house I grew up in was mostly moss and sand with a little bit of grass trying to grow. It wasnt anything that wouldn't be like most houses out there where there were 5 children in the household along with an assortment of neighborhood children that would play at each others homes. We had oak trees for shade and they did shade the yard well. I never really thought about it, it was just our yard.
When I was married and moved out on my own, most of my siblings were no longer in the house full time either. I guess Mama decided it was time to do something with the yard. She began to plant. There were gardens all over the yard then. I don't know for sure what she planted and where other than knowing that she had a few azaleas that were from my wedding and some hostas that I gave her from the front of my first home that my husband and I had purchased. I didn't take much interest in it truthfully other than to be glad that Mama enjoyed what she was doing. The front lawn didn't have much moss anymore as she had grass and assorted plants. She put in a walkway down to the transplanted mailbox in front of the house. The oak trees were still in the front yard though and provided shade still.
The backyard had an assortment of plants waiting for their beds or already in their areas. Papa, my stepfather, was a tree surgeon who also couldn't resist a plant that needed care. He brought home many a free plant that others felt were past their prime. Somehow in that sandy soil, Papa and Mama made them grow.
As an adult with land of my own again, I find I have married a man who enjoys finding bargain plants, many of which others would think well past their prime. They maybe are past their prime for this season or the times when he purchases them, but I take them and put them in the ground and see what will happen. Sometimes they grow and give me blooms and joy the following spring. Sometimes they die.... but that is the nature of plants. I never thought I would be one to enjoy digging in the dirt and trying to figure out flower beds and where things will do best.
Honestly I don't plan much. I sort of look and see where I think I would like to see flowers the next spring or where something looks a little too bare for my taste. Then I put a plant in the area. I have a lot of bulb plants. I like them because they don't take a lot of care. You plant them in the ground and they grow. Sometimes you have to split them off after a while, but I love the look of a very full bulb bed as I call them. Mixtures of crocus and daffydils and tulips and iris and hyacinth bless me every spring when they come up. The little shoots of green leaves coming up through the frosted earth and then the buds bursting forth into a riot of color give me such joy.
The summer months bring my roses to bloom. They grow and send forth buds and flowers in an assortment of colors and varieties. The fall brings me mums and pruning of my other flowers to get them ready for winter.
Oddly, I am turning into a gardener of sorts.... or maybe I just like the sight and scents of the flowers.

Dog for sale

Does anyone out there want a beautiful black and caramel mutt that looks a little like a greyhound and likes to eat furniture? She is mostly sweet tempered but for some reason can not keep from eating my couches. She also seems to like to eat stuffed animals. Maybe she has a stuffing deficiency or something. I don't know. My daughter has named her the Goat.

When my husband found out that I thought I was ready for another dog after losing 4 in about two years (two of them to parvo in the same week), he came home with Candy. She was a tiny little thing that someone had abandoned on the side of the road. She didn't even look to be old enough to be away from her mother. Our lab-pekinese mix took to her quickly and was playful and protective with her. It seemed like the perfect thing.

Candy liked to play tug and to be with us. She reacted well with other dogs and was a cute little thing. She ate all the time and while she grew she never seemed to be the right weight for her skeleton. I always worried she wasn't getting enough food.

Eventually we found that she was chewing everything up. At first it seemed like typical puppy behavior and we would correct her whenever we would find that she had done it.... shaking the item she had chewed and swatting her bottom or her nose. It didn't stop it. Over the past year and a half that we have had her she has now destroyed three couches and two twin mattresses not to mention the formal dress for a party my daughter was to attend and countless stuffed bears.

I asked the vet why she feels the need to do this. The vet couldn't give me an answer. Keeping her outside and away from furniture and other items she likes to chew is not an option for me at this point but I am seriously starting to think that it would be cheaper to put up a seven foot tall fence that had an additional three feet sunk into the ground to keep her from tunneling under, than it will be to keep replacing the daggone furniture she wants to ruin.